Latest posts by Edwin Adoyo (see all)
- Dating Supply and Demand . More women, Men have more options - December 14, 2017
- Dating in the 21st Century Do we still go onDates? - November 22, 2017
- More Educated Women,More Sex It is Fact - October 16, 2017
Nowadays men don’t even know how to court. We are not taken out for dates. Sentiments from ladies across the world. Dating is more of hanging out nowadays. In fact, many ladies nowadays have not gone for a traditional date.Things have become more informal. It gets worse if a man confides to his friends that he took a lady out on a date. Raucous laughter and scorn comes after such statements
Aren’t we going back to the way things used to be done in generations gone by? In the previous generations, dating was not a thing. In certain African cultures, the man would approach the lady anywhere and state the intention of marriage.
What really is the definition of a date or dating?
Who defines what a date is? Is it fluid based on the two parties involved? For example, If two people agree to meet up in prisons to help out in the Kitchen is that a date?
In his book the art of Seduction by Robert Green, he says that part of seduction is to stir interest and desire in the victim once you have chosen the right one. The argument is that a man cannot seduce every victim. He goes on and says
‘Most people are locked in their own worlds, making them stubborn and hard to persuade. The way to lure them out of their shell and set up your seduction is to enter their spirit. Play by their rules, enjoy what they enjoy, adapt yourself to their moods. In doing so you will stroke their deep-rooted narcissism and lower their defenses. Hypnotized by the mirror image you present, they will open up, becoming vulnerable to your subtle influence. Soon you can shift the dynamic: once you have entered their spirit you can make them enter yours, at a point when it is too late to turn back. Indulge your targets’ every mood and whim, giving them nothing to react against or resist.’
Seduction forms the basis of dating. If the aim is to enter their spirit surely there many ways to do so. In traditional Africa, young men and women would learn acceptable sexual expression and public sexual contact. Formalized flirtation and seduction dance ceremonies sometimes called moonlight dances or mating dances. The dances would take place during the full moon in a special arena cleared for the occasion, or in a chief’s or elder’s compound.
Since everything about dating is changing then perhaps we should go all learn the moonlight dance and make that the standard for dating